Birthday 11

When August gets here we start "birthday season". For us birthdays start in August and run till April. In September and December we have two. December both Peeker and Oni celebrate theirs- on the same day. That doesn't happen often (except in twins of course!)- siblings with the same birthday, just 6 years apart. In September its Belly Button's and mine, we're just 4 days apart.

She turned 11 this year. We celebrate small- a few friends, family, cake (always ice cream cake for her!) and presents. This is our celebration this year!

Combines, Dogs, Babies & Story Problems

Busy week here! The farmer came through with the combine, taking all the corn! Yay! If you've never lived this close to corn before you wouldn't be aware of  how allergic one could be to it. And man am I allergic! But the past month the Morning Glories took over the edge of the corn field and that was so beautiful- I had to venture close to get a shot!

Bug Loves all things tractor related, so watching the farmer in his combine, was the highlight of his day! He was so disappointed when he got up from his nap and the combine was gone.

 Wednesday a package came from my mother-in-law, included in my birthday present was these two photos of my husband as a little guy! The baby pic is about 6 months old and the "big" boy about 10 or 11. (Don't ya just love the smirk!) She also sent Oni's quilt she made for him- Star Wars. And man was Bug jealous! First thing out of his mouth "Oh man! No fair! A Star Wars blanket." even thou he just got a monogrammed dragon quilt in July! (That he picked out!) Haha.

 Thursday was the day our dogs were blessed. See the photo above. well that is my husband's brand new smart phone. While out on a walk with the boys, one of them (who shall remain nameless <Daisy>) got under the side table (that's sandwiched between the couch and the chair) and pulled the phone off the charger and into the middle of the living room. Chewing it to that ^ in less than 20 minutes. My husband held it together well, much better than I expected. This same little doggie has also eaten my meditation books, one of them twice, this week, and Belly Button's flip flops, pulled the binoculars off the porch into the driveway (where they were run over), chewed 3 pacifiers, and an arm band radio. Seriously don't know what to do about this. Its new behavior that's getting worse!

A few shots of Truly just because she's so darn cute!

Look at those expressions!


And then there's been these two! Boy does Bugabuga LOVE his sister. Trying to teach an 18 mo to be gentle and that baby is not a toy is harder. (It wasn't this hard with the first two- but the sexes were opposite, and that probably makes a big difference.) And can anyone tell me why he's so obsessed with standing directly over her like that! Freaks me out!

 

 

 

 

We're finding more rhythm in home schooling. I'm learning what works better for him- like he hates math problems that are repetitive, and prefers story problems (story problems! I hated those!). I'm coming up with more ideas to get us out of books and more into learning while living. Not unschooling but not so structured. I think we're going to try a six weeks on- one week off approach. I like the idea of a break, gives me time to plan the six weeks ahead, catch up on things around the house and him to unwind. 

A's Home Birth Story

I started to write this out on paper about a month after A's (Truely's) birth. But the emotions that surround her birth were still raw and I couldn't finish it all. The emotions are still there, just not quiet as painful. They've been replaced with others. There are days were I look at her and my heart swells with some sadness. I don't pity her and I try not to ask why, but it's still there. Why her? Our life, growing up in this family is not an easy. We struggle with things that our typical children have to overcome. How come she has this even bigger thing against her? My mama's heart feels too much for my children sometimes. I hope by me feeling these things they don't have to. (Warning: Birth/graphic photos at the end of post.)


Her Story

Thursday morning I woke up the same as usual- pregnant and disappointed my water hadn't broken during the night. I shook it off, got up and went about my usual day. Got children ready for school, dressed J and C.

We had planned to go grocery shopping that morning. A big trip with hopes baby would be there (here) soon, and the visit from R that next week. Walking through Wally World had been very uncomfortable the last few times. Contractions (ctx) would come and go, with lots of pelvic pressure. This trip was like all the rest.

We made it home, had lunch, and the boys and I took our usual naps. The pressure and ctx I'd had shopping dwindled away, and were gone completely after some sleep. That afternoon went as usual.

 By the time Chris was making dinner I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch for an hour, sleeping through dinner. I woke up about 6:30 to a contraction. Stronger than what I'd been normally having. 10 minutes later I had another. I ate a bit of dinner, tired to get my head to clear. More ctx every 10 minutes, a bit stronger each time. By 7:30 it was time to get the boys into bed, but I left that to DH as I was having to concentrate on each ctx more. Almost 8 and I was feeling like we should at least call the midwife (Kate), ask her thoughts. I was afraid to say I was in labor, fearing it'd all stop and it wasn't for real.

Dh called and talked with her. The ctx were about 8 mins apart at that time, and strong. She asked us to call her back in 30 mins, let her know when they were 5 mins apart. 30 mins later they were 5 mins apart and I knew she should come. I knew she had at least an hour drive and things seemed to be moving fast.

Close to 9:30 and we needed to move C in with B, out of our bed.I was peeing every 5 mins it felt like. Still waiting for my water to break. My MW was comfortable with me delivering her in the cull, but always having my water broken before hand, I was intimidated by the thought, and what is would be like- more painful? less? I was unable to let go full with this running through my head.

After moving C, I wanted a shower, to help me try and relax. Kate still wasn't there yet and I was starting to to feel like I was loosing it. I wasn't sure I could handle the pain; I was too old; maybe I should go into the hospital; maybe I'd rather have a  C-section. I tried sitting,because my legs were getting tired but the ctx seemed too intense. I laid on the bed, and felt burning with the next ctx, which scared me even more. The ctx were back to back now, not stopping, no breaks. I just wanted my MW there.

I had to pee so bad, but couldn't make it to the toilet, but got to the shower. Which where I was when Kate got there. That was somewhere between 10 and 10:30. Between ctx she and Dh helped me get out of the shower, but it was a slow and painful process, as we were working in 30 second increments. I was in a lot of pain, and nothing was seeming to help. Kate helped remind me How to breath properly and showed DH how to push on my pelvis to relieve some pain.She also checked baby's heart rate, which was good.  We were trying to find better positions when I started to feel pushy, but I was still afraid  (my water was still intact). My MW offered to check my dilation, which I was really ok with. For me knowing if I was close helped me to see light at the end of the tunnel.

I maneuvered onto the bed, and she checked. 10cm! I was ready to push, but how did I want to deliver?! I knew I didn't want to stand again (like with J). I thought about on all 4s but really didn't want to try moving again. So I just asked for a bunch of pillows behind me and stayed put. Dh took his position next to my MW, our wish was for him to catch baby. I pushed tentatively for awhile. Testing to see how painful it would be. With my fears abated, and courage restored I put more effort into it. On my third good push there was a POP and my water broke- spraying Kate, DH and the wall behind them. (I laughed a bit at the time and still laugh now.) But with my water breaking the ctx got harder. So I pushed harder.

Out came the head. Kate checked for the cord around the neck and then asked DH if he wanted to do the rest. He hesitated and decided to let her catch. Out came baby. We'd said we wanted DH to tell me the sex and he said "It's our girl!" She started to cry, a nice strong cry. And she was placed onto me. It was 11:45 pm March 8 2012. (International Women's Day)

Meeting my littlest girl was a moment that indescribable. But relief was (that she was a girl- hey don't get me wrong if she'd been a boy I'd love her the same. But after 3 boys, I really really wanted a girl) there. We laid there for what seemed like a long time but I was uncomfortable and ready to birth her placenta. So I let daddy meet his little girl.

Birthing the placenta always bring me relief- soothing waters on a ring of fire. Its my second favorite thing (next to meeting my little) about birth. Actually there are only 2 things about labor that are enjoyable for me. Baby and placenta.

While DH and my MW checked A over a bit, my MW's back up (her mother by the way, a labor and delivery nurse of 30 years, a wonderful addition to our birth team) helped me getting adjusted on the bed and ready for baby.

As Chris hands A over to my chest, he says "She'll be a lefty." My crazy husband making assumptions already was what passed my through my mind. But then he pulls back her blanket, and while still holding her and me, shows me her missing right hand. "She's prefect. She'll be just fine." The tears and emotion in his eyes and face mirrored my own. In those moments I loved her more and never before felt the need to protect something so much. His words and emotions were perfect. His resolve and peace held me together in that moment. I cried for it all.

We didn't not know it expect her hand to be missing. We didn't have a single ultrasound.And we firmly believe having had one would've caused her birth to be chaos, with doctors, hospitals, NICUs, and lots of poking and prodding. We are happy with our decision- this peaceful little being got the birth and first moments of her life how she (and all babies) deserved it to be- calm, full of love and support, without pain.

A's birth brought us not just another little person into our family but helped to unite this family with a common bond. The love of one who is innocent and extra special.

6 mths!

Little Miss Truely is 6 months old today!



The time goes by so fast.











I thought she may have some issues reaching milestones on time but so far she's exceeding my expectations. She's sitting all by herself.
She's scooting across the floor, blanket and all.
She's even getting up on hand and knees.

I'm still unsure how she'll figure out crawling. Her arm on the hardwood floors slips out from under her. But I think she'll come up with her own way. Or bypass it all together and just stand and walk.

I'd wanted to have her birth story written out by now but I don't. I may get the time tonight and have it out later or tomorrow. There is still emotions wrapped up there- ones that I'm still sorting through.

 Happy 1/2 Birthday Baby Girl!

How Are the Children?

How are the children?

R, or Stick, the oldest daughter, is well. She recently got her first apartment, sadly being 900 miles away I haven't been able to see it yet. But she's proud of her new little home and happy. She's also been promoted at work, now an hourly manager at a popular coffee shop. She works hard, takes pride in her work and it shows. I am continually proud of the woman she's becoming.

T, or Butder, the oldest son, will be 18 in November and while visiting my mom in MN has decided to stay. He's looking for work and working towards getting his GED. (I may not have shared the struggles of getting his transcripts transferred down here, on my other blog, but long story short they didn't accept any of them and wanted him back in the 9th grade- he was in 11th, so a hard decision was made last year, to keep him out and pursue other avenues.) Here where we are there are so little opportunities his chances are slim of ever finding a job, and his plan along has been to return to MN after his 18th birthday, so this is just a few months early. I do miss his company, as do the other kids. But this is in His best interests.

P, or Peeker, the 2nd oldest daughter, is now the oldest child in the house. She's still our little mama. Before school began this year we gave her the decision of home schooling or going back to their old school, she decided to go back. As an 8th, who does well in school, I think socially this was important to her. Our relationship has improved greatly, as has her and my husband's. This age is very difficult for step-daughters/step-fathers, I remember that from my own experience with my step-dad and that of my daughter and ex. She's a very intelligent, mature girl, coming nicely into her own, with plans for the future (she wants to be a natruopath).

I, or Belly Button, the 2nd youngest daughter, is coming into the age of the early/pre-teens. She has more chores than the other children but this is because of her love of animals. She's our chicken wrangler, and most of their care is hers. She's experimenting with being the Boss, and is struggling with being nice. This is really different behavior for her, that we've seen grow in intensity over the last year. Maybe stress of all the changes? Maybe influence of the children she attends school with here? (The children here are expected to respect adults w/o exception, and if they don't are "whooped" for it. So they take it out on each other, and especially the weaker kids. I've seen it first had with my BIL.) She was also given the opportunity to home school this year, but after Peeker made the decision to go back I observed her and O and found their relationship dynamic would not make for a pleasant or easy home schooling aptmoshpere. And set her back. So far she's enjoying the year and her teacher.

O, or Oni, the 2nd oldest son, was Dxed this spring with Asperger's Syndrome. We felt a great sense of relief with this dx, it fits. But the school made it clear they could, or would, not meet his needs. So the big decision came to home school him. We are now a satellite campus of The Farm school here in Tn. Its a learning experience for all of us, and we're still searching for what works for us. My biggest concern for him is him getting his work done too quickly and what to do with the rest of the day. (Seriously he's done in less than 2 hours, unless of course he's fighting me about doing the work.)

C,or Bug, the 2nd youngest son,  has made me rethink the idea that 3 is harder and 2. He's been so much easier since turning 3 and easier than my last 3 yo (but in Oni's defense he was un-Dxed at that point and receiving no help, I was drowning in him). His language/speech has caught up and he's most potty trained. With the expectation of peeing on the floor "Because I want to". (Anyone with ideas on this please chime in. We've tried everything we can think of- making him clean it up, times outs, rewards, etc.) And this boy loves his baby sister SO much! How he treats her is amazingly loving.

J, or Bugabuga, the youngest son, well he's a handful, but too cute to be angry with for too long. His face has become so expresive. And the boy LOVES to dance, his favorite music being Swing music of all things! LOL  I'm very loosely trying to introduce him to the potty and last night he amazed us all by pooping on it by himself! Bugabuga is very attached to his big sister Peeker and she to him.

A, or Truly, the baby girl, she continues to amaze us daily. She like Bugabuga has THE MOST expressive face. The looks she makes keep us rolling for hours! She has found her voice, can now sit unassisted, and is starting to creep forward and backward. I'm still unsure she'll be able to crawl in the traditional method but she's finding ways of making life work for her.

Well there's our update!